Many year ago, the happily summer vocation in July. There is a village full with the birds and insects chirping. A little girl went with her parents to have the vacation in the country. This village is more peaceful than the city she lived. She walked in the huge forest on the hill, the big and tall trees surround her, did’t have any sound expect the birds, insects or the soft wing with the grass smell. Even through she can’t see any of them, but she can just know their are really here.She walked on the top of mountain, there is the tallest and bigest tree on the middle. She touch on it’s hard rough bark, and stand by the this tree. It made she looked more smaller when she stand by it. She sited by this tree until the sky become orange, the moon appeared, she walked down the hill. Walked on the road in the farmland, smoothly pluck a fruit, it tasted like the plum. Although she did’t even know what is it. A little house far away with the nice and warm light is the place she temporary stay. Her mother stand by the door, and with the big smile when she saw her back.
Beautiful description! You did used all the five sense on your exposition and I like the way how you telling the story. Great job Peggy!
ReplyDeleteYou really put a lot of effort on your journal, you done a great job to use the five sense to describe the character, the surrounding, and a lot of thing, which is perfect, but i think in the exposition you can start to put the beginning of the conflict which going to shows for the next scene, so it can make your journal with more detail of what going to happen next.
ReplyDeletethat is very good. you describe the five senses very well. you had use hearing, sight, touch, small, and taste. you had follow the instruction.
ReplyDeletei like your story, its awesome, and everything looks wonderful in your story, you always do a great job on your journal, keep it that way,i do like it.
ReplyDeletethis is an nice exposition, however, it's so sad to know the girl can't see. you described the story with five senses completely, and i am pretty interesting with the next part of the story, what happened??
ReplyDeletewhen i was reading your journal i can saw the place and i also can feel like the role in the story, you put the five senses also great job!!
ReplyDelete